I wrote the following July 6th, 2021 but neglected to post it:
Sitting here in my car at Section 52A , Calverton National Cemetery, I am writing. I have been unable to write since 5/21/21. I’ve been mourning much more than Bill’s death.
I was suppose to move and the landlord decided to not rent to me because my personality wasn’t meshing with hers.
Boxes all around since Bill died. I am in transition. I realized this morning, I’ve been grieving and I did not realize it. I really don’t know myself.
I couldn’t remember the grave number but this kind army guy found it for me. This is the first time I put flowers on Bills grave. Sorry this writing is so morbid but it is where I’m at right now. Everything is temporary regardless of how it seems.
Bills army experiences was the most impactful on his life other than marrying me (Lol).
Practicing being present to each moment involves the Attention to what I am doing in the moment. I never realized how I wasn’t present but just doing therefore missing the moment of Gods Presence.
My Intention is to be present to God’s Presence therefore Attention to my breath and Noticing my breathing,( not changing it, but just noticing it ) is Gods Presence in the moment sustaining me.
I realize it is this spiritual practice that brought me to Calverton, seeking God in the moment and Him showing me where Bills physical body was. God used Bill to get my attention to my intention of being present in the moment .